Talk about an Academy Award! Today, I actuallly spoke to my best friend and pretended to be "Amy," and she didn't even catch me! I told Amy yesterday that she should talk to Paige about my (Amy's) situation with Rogerson. Amy doesn't really like Paige all that much (probably because they are so much alike), but apparently she talked to Paige earlier today. I should have known it would really tick Paige off to hear what is going on with Rogerson. She called me (as Amy) to offer her advice. I could have freaked when I saw Paige's phone number on the caller ID! I said, "Hello?" and she said, "Amy?" I said, "Yeah," and she said, "this is Paige. Ashley's best friend..."
It was so great to hear her voice that I almost slipped up. We talked about what's been going on with Rogerson, and Paige gave me her official psychological profile of him. Sometimes I think the only reason Paige is in grad school is so she can learn how to mess with people's heads.
Paige said that Rogerson, as unattractive as he is, has created a fantasy in his mind about the girls at the law school. He feels almost a sense of "entitlement" when it comes to having the girls there like him (a common trait among narcissists). Even though he knows that women, besides his wife--but that's another story--don't find him attractive, his power position as a professor makes him think they will like him anyway. In fact, it's almost as if he insists we HAVE to like him. Which is true. He does act like that. It's like he feels the female students liking him comes with the job or something.
Anyway, Paige says narcissists like Rogerson create these fantasies where women like them even if they say they don't or behave like they don't. Women are perceived as "hustlers" who play games, and acting like they don't like him is all part of the game. Of course, no woman in her right mind would be attracted to a rude, ego maniac like Rogerson--not to mention the fact he is so unattractive that there's no way you could be drawn to him. The fact he treats people like they worship him is his most unattractive feature.
Ironically, Rogerson doesn't ACTUALLY want women to spend time with him, or to date him, or to have an affair with him. He wants the game, but he doesn't want any form of intimacy. If you get too close, he fears deep down, you will reject him. So, what you are left with is a guy who fantasizes about getting women but who will run if you get too close.
Here's Paige's theory: If you actually play along with Rogerson's fantasy, the reality of the situation will scare the crap out of him, and he'll stop the games. He'll likely treat you like you don't exist or that he doesn't know you. He will literally PUSH you away because he doesn't want you to get that close to him. What Paige is suggesting sounds just crazy enough to work. All we have to do is call Rogerson's bluff, and he'll run like the big chicken he is!
Apparently, this has been done in movies and on TV, like on WKRP, a comedy that was on a little before my time. There's a nerdy guy named Herb who hit on the beautiful receptionist constantly and drove her nuts. She finally called his bluff and agreed to go out with him, and he couldn't handle it. There is such a big difference between fantasy and reality, that when faced with a chance to really know the beautiful receptionist, he didn't know what to do. I think he ended up hyperventilating or throwing up on her shoes or something.
I'll have to give this some more thought and talk to Amy about it, but it makes sense to me! All we have to do is pretend to like Rogerson, and that will be the end to all the BS that's been going on. I'll let you know what Amy says...